What do you mean there’s nothing to FEAR? Who in their right mind wants to go there?!!! Well, usually, in time, we all end up there for hopefully a short stay, did I write short? No, it’s never short, quite lengthy & you never climb out as you fell in.
It’s a place where you shut down, life has opened up all those painful tabs in one go & all those feelings that were denied a “hearing,” protest! because they are so tired & worn out & you collapse under the weight of all those tears that just wanna cry! You can’t fight it anymore! life is asking for some “catch up” time & when you deny it, it will demand it & then, just take it = Welcome to ROCK BOTTOM.
Are you there now? Are you heading there? I’ll try to take the fear out of the place for you. Rock bottom is a “core” experience, there’s nothing fake or phoney about spending time there, it’s a place you grieve over whats been lost IN YOU. You’ve been filling that hollow space with “whatever” it takes to stop you drowning in what I call a “true sadness;” loss of some special place within yourself. Your need for approval may have led you there, an abusive relationship grabbed you by the throat & threatened you to STAY… ‘Just a little longer’ & false promises whispered ‘All will change soon, stay…’ & you did & change didn’t happen. Or, Loss, a significant one may have occurred & there was no time for YOU to grieve because you were too busy being the strong one. Rock bottom wrote your name down & waited patiently for you to check in.
You don’t just sort through everything quickly at rock bottom & then pick yourself up & off you go galloping along life’s highway. There is no energy, not at first & not until you listen to those tears that want to cry & you ACTUALLY let THEM! Fear will rush over you like huge gargantuan waves & you’ll wanna stay in bed with the blankets over your head, for a while anyway. But then, something starts to slowly take place, you wake up one morning & a little bit of strength is felt, just a little but it’s a different strength & it’s a stable strength & you know that you can trust it. It’s what I call “the climb.” You see you climb out of rock bottom, each bar you grab & hold with your new “different” strength exercises the new found trust & confidence gained by spending time & rock bottom, grieving, sorting & finally accepting & after you do that, you start “the climb.”
You never climb out as you fell in. You are not denying yourself your right to be heard anymore & if you are attentive to you, you won’t again. If you’re there now, remember, it’s not a permanent place, there is so much hope at rock bottom, you just can’t see it now as you haven’t entered ” The Big Sort!” but, you’ll get there, you’re on your way. We usually all spend a little time at Rock Bottom Lodge & we learn so much about ourselves while there. How to never ever allow anyone, especially ourselves, to shove what we value under a dirty carpet.
You matter. That’s the beautiful goodbye message rock bottom leaves you with, just as you’re about to finish “the climb.”