I was born into my mother’s religion. It was suffocating & restrictive. I believed it to be the truth & never questioned it until I turned 47. It was at that age that I began the glorious journey to search for God without the influence of my former religion. Seeking the presence of God, without religion in the way, has been liberating.
Now, at 53, I don’t go to church. I’m not religious. I’m spiritual. I simply seek God. Scripture says that God is not far off from anyone of us, all we need to do is seek Him.
Church is a building. The body of Christ is not a building, I believe it’s made up of people who are seeking God, His presence, trying to worship Him in Spirit & Truth. Following His son. It’s not a complicated thing to do, it involves talking to God as a friend, pouring your heart out to Him and walking with Him, allowing Him to guide you, reading His word the Bible. It doesn’t involve rules. & when you have found His presence, you know because there is joy &, His joy is your strength.
I never found a lot of joy in church. But there is joy in getting to know God. I say getting to know God & feeling deeply about Him takes time, it’s a relationship &, like any relationship it needs to develop. I am not one of those people who runs around chanting I love God! I’m still getting to know Him. But when I do say I love Him, I will mean it.
There is freedom in finding God &, that’s how you know you’ve found Him.
I was totally confused about God. He seemed so remote & unapproachable. I would never be good enough so why bother! I don’t think like that anymore. I’m loved! Big time by God. Gaining this intimacy with Him has not so much been a journey but a realization, I know now that He has been with me all through my life, even at utterly Godless moments, He has been there all along & I feel religion hasn’t had anything to do with US, we’ve always been US, it’s just that I couldn’t see or feel His warmth because I believe the church system has always been telling me their version of God &, I wondered… if in these great cathedrals or churches in Europe, I merely go in and sit down and listen to a man tell me about someone I should know, know personally for myself; someone who deals with me as an individual, knowing me warts & all, then what am I doing listening to this man speak words that are so distant from the gentle, loving sound of Father’s love!
It became unbearable! In these days of such unrest, worldly unrest, the church is devoid of comfort &, a living God, like Father is, could never be in such dead places!
And so, I am happy. I believe I am beginning to know Father, an intimacy is growing, a bond has always been there but I couldn’t feel it when listening and nodding to other people, people who can’t have my relationship with God because it’s our intimacy and everyone must cultivate their own with Him. He knows us, it’s we who need to know Him & chatting to Him is a good way to begin.