Rock bottom, why there’s nothin’ to fear!

What do you mean there’s nothing to FEAR? Who in their right mind wants to go there?!!! Well, usually, in time, we all end up there for hopefully a short stay, did I write short? No, it’s never short, quite lengthy & you never climb out as you fell in. 14495399_180595942383577_4754047562079935923_n

It’s a place where you shut down, life has opened up all those painful tabs in one go & all those feelings that were denied a “hearing,” protest! because they are so tired & worn out & you collapse under the weight of all those tears that just wanna cry! You can’t fight it anymore! life is asking for some “catch up” time & when you deny it, it will demand it & then, just take it = Welcome to ROCK BOTTOM.

Are you there now? Are you heading there? I’ll try to take the fear out of the place for you. Rock bottom is a “core” experience, there’s nothing fake or phoney about spending time there, it’s a  place you grieve over whats been lost IN YOU. You’ve been filling that hollow space with “whatever” it takes to stop you drowning in what I call a “true sadness;” loss of some special place within yourself. Your need for approval may have led you there, an abusive relationship grabbed you by the throat & threatened you to STAY… ‘Just a little longer’ & false promises whispered ‘All will change soon, stay…’ & you did & change didn’t happen. Or, Loss, a significant one may have occurred & there was no time for YOU to grieve because you were too busy being the strong one. Rock bottom wrote your name down & waited patiently for you to check in.

You don’t just sort through everything quickly at rock bottom & then pick yourself up & off you go galloping along life’s highway. There is no energy, not at first & not until you listen to those tears that want to cry & you ACTUALLY let THEM! Fear will rush over you like huge gargantuan waves & you’ll wanna stay in bed with the blankets over your head, for a while anyway. But then, something starts to slowly take place, you wake up one morning & a little bit of strength is felt, just a little but it’s a different strength & it’s a stable strength & you know that you can trust it. It’s what I call “the climb.” You see you climb out of rock bottom, each bar you grab & hold with your new “different” strength exercises the new found trust & confidence gained by spending time & rock bottom, grieving, sorting & finally accepting & after you do that, you start “the climb.”

You never climb out as you fell in. You are not denying yourself your right to be heard anymore & if you are attentive to you, you won’t again. If you’re there now, remember, it’s not a permanent place, there is so much hope at rock bottom, you just can’t see it now as you haven’t entered ” The Big Sort!” but, you’ll get there, you’re on your way. We usually all spend a little time at Rock Bottom Lodge & we learn so much about ourselves while there.  How to never ever allow anyone, especially ourselves, to shove what we value under a dirty carpet.

You matter. That’s the beautiful goodbye message rock bottom leaves you with, just as you’re about to finish “the climb.”

Cheers x

Change & why it’s a good thing!

Without change, you don’t grow. Without change, you don’t know…know anything new about yourself, change ruffles up the inner feathers & you get to see yourself react & respond, it might be negatively or positively & the result from either reaction, will be a move forward or a step back.

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Change is for our good. It might seem unwelcome at times & certainly unwanted but there is a lesson in the shift & you grow, growth is all part of the life experience & really, how safe are we if we choose stagnation instead of taking another turn & finding out more about ourselves & what life has to offer in another place or meeting new people who will no doubt bring a much-needed freshness into a space that has grown a little stale.

My life has been one of constant change. I shudder to think of what my life would have been like if I had stayed all my life in one place. I love the fact that yesterday, on a whim, off we went to visit a castle & then just drive through the countryside breathing in its freshness, scents & sights so intoxicating to the soul. It was a spur of the moment thing, a “Let’s do it!” Life breathes well when spontaneity is a regular dose in your life.

Change is always a bonus if it makes you simplify your life & free it up for more of what truly makes rich &, I’m not talking about money, it’s not things but experiences with those you love that bring an abundance of woohoo moments!

Change means you’re not standing still but moving forward in some way. So, don’t be scared when change comes a-knockin’, open that door & grow.

Cheers x

 

“She threw away all her masks, & put on her soul.”

Confidence doesn’t come from what you wear. It’s true, a nice glam outfit helps, but eventually, that outfit has to come off & you are left with YOU. Be happy about that! I have stood naked in front of my mirror & faced myself, I wanted to wish those extra pounds away, I wanted to take ten years off my face, & what I had to acknowledge & do acknowledge is that I am who I am, warts & all, I am me. I am not perfect. That’s the key, fall in love with being YOU. There is no one on this planet like you. You are special. You are worth it! Don’t wait for others to give you that pat on the back or that praise from their lips, it all starts with how you talk to you. Adorn your inner self with the beauty of kind, gentle & supportive words. Clothes can’t do that.

I was talking to a woman the other day who has breast cancer. She is facing herself. I looked at this woman & thought…wow! This woman is truly beautiful. We sat & had a cup of tea together & as she spoke, I listened to her soul. There was such a mixture of fear, courage, tears & beauty, too. Her naked soul was openly exposed to me & she was frightened like a scared child. Everything she exchanged to me was real. Have we forgotten to be real?  Have we forgotten to have meaningful exchanges with people? To touch & comfort their suffering rather than just admire their outer garments! A truly genuine person revealing real feelings is very rare to find in a world that constantly bombards us with “Gotta be more, do more…you are not enough unless…” Bah! Don’t buy into it or you’ll never escape the knife of the plastic surgeon! YOU ARE ENOUGH! I think that is where it all begins, with YOU, not accepting the ugly, useless labels that society tries to slap on you. If you are 60 plus, great! Wisdom speaks from the lips of those who have walked this earth a little longer & what a fine adornment is that pearl of prudence, insight & respect, there is no outfit that can ever compete with such valuable qualities of the heart.

Personally, fashion does not dictate to me what I must wear year in & year out. I wear clothes that I like, I don’t follow the crowd & I prefer the truly timeless classics, a style that doesn’t date.

Just be your lovely self & KNOW you are lovely BEFORE you dress up glam! & when that outfit comes off, you will be left with you, someone uniquely special, someone who is real, who can be frightened, scared & courageous all at the same time. Collect real people, fake ones are a dime a dozen! In this life, when very scary things happen, you don’t need a glamour queen sitting across from you at the table, you do need someone who has got their real on way before they’ve ever got their fashion style on. Make up your inner wardrobe first, it is way more important than your clothes closet.  You can’t buy confidence, it can’t be found in a clothes store. Confidence is found within you, as you enjoy & appreciate the truly unique & beautiful person that you are.girl-2178157_960_720