We only ever have NOW! Today, today & TODAY. Tomorrow is always future. It means we never wake up & say “It’s tomorrow!” because our ‘now time’ is always a today thing! &, as we get older, we begin to understand how precious it is to value our ‘now time.’
I just got back from having a cup of tea down by the river, it’s a beautiful, balmy sunshiny day. Sitting by a still quiet river, too, gives me good reason to reflect deeply about life, the people who are precious to me & how nice it is that I got to live! & be alive, NOW!
I thoroughly enjoy the sweet & simple things of life & the abundance of curiously interesting experiences that have come my way. I swing my arms wide open & invite TODAY in to saturate my soul.
I do however, remember when ‘tomorrow’ & what it might hold, became quite a serious distraction, anxious thoughts invaded my mind, it was a real ‘nail biter’ of a time! The result? instead of smiles I wore frowns.
You see, worrying about tomorrow does that to you, it burns daylight on your ‘NOW’ time & before you know it, your tummy gets all tied up in knots about ‘what might be ahead’ & the joy of living has left, without leaving a note.
I know. Anxiety just doesn’t up & leave. After all, it’s been a welcomed guest! So, how do you shoo it away? Well, why not grab a coffee & find a nice quiet spot in nature & think about future anxiety, what it ‘doesn’t do FOR you’ but ‘does TO you.’
It doesn’t make you smile. It doesn’t welcome the spirit of ‘hope’ in like an old friend. It makes you want to stay in bed. Life is for living, not fretting underneath the covers.
It swallows your life up in fear. It steals your sleep & invades your TODAY time; your ‘NOW TIME.’ It’s a comfortless enemy of the mind & wreaks havoc on the body. Isn’t it true, that most things you & I have worried about have not even happened! the catastrophe was averted or things were certainly not as bad as you had imagined they would be &, yes, somehow there was always a solution. Something or someone turned up to save the day!
Like an untrained puppy our thoughts can run out of control, resting on frightfully scary scenarios! So, just like an untrained puppy we need to train our thoughts not to dwell in the land of FRET & FEAR about the future ( a healthy concern is OK, I mean having an inordinate fear of what lies ahead! ) but replace anxious thoughts about the future by staying & living in the HERE & NOW. The future will UNFOLD. Let it. Cross the bridge when you really need to cross it. Spend time in nature, think about what it is you’d like to enjoy doing & go do it, TODAY! Enjoy living your life TODAY, your moments, NOW!
Read that book, go for that walk, take that journey, start that course or learn to play that guitar, NOW. It doesn’t have to be amazing, it can be as simple as having a cup of tea down by the river. Live your TODAY & it will reward you with a life well lived. Let the future unfold…
If you do that, you will likely end up being, one happy puppy!
Regrets! we all have them. Things you didn’t do & things you didn’t say or things you DID do & things you DID say! Regret follows like a heavy dark cloud pregnant with tears & sad whisperings of “If only I didn’t…” or frustrating groans of “Why did I say that!”
So, what’s to be done with that nagging voice full of lament, moaning as it drags its heavy sighs along the chambers of your heart, uncomfortably always ‘there’ never letting you forget?
Learn from it. Turn your regret into GROWTH. We all have done stupid things & have said things that can’t be taken back. All of us. It isn’t the best way to learn but it is a way nonetheless, life has its lessons &, moving on from past mistakes however burdensome the backwash, is sometimes the only way ‘some of us’ (I think most of us) LEARN.
In essence, LEARN from it, GROW from it, FORGIVE YOURSELF, & finally! MOVE ON X
What do you mean there’s nothing to FEAR? Who in their right mind wants to go there?!!! Well, usually, in time, we all end up there for hopefully a short stay, did I write short? No, it’s never short, quite lengthy & you never climb out as you fell in.
It’s a place where you shut down, life has opened up all those painful tabs in one go & all those feelings that were denied a “hearing,” protest! because they are so tired & worn out & you collapse under the weight of all those tears that just wanna cry! You can’t fight it anymore! life is asking for some “catch up” time & when you deny it, it will demand it & then, just take it = Welcome to ROCK BOTTOM.
Are you there now? Are you heading there? I’ll try to take the fear out of the place for you. Rock bottom is a “core” experience, there’s nothing fake or phoney about spending time there, it’s a place you grieve over whats been lost IN YOU. You’ve been filling that hollow space with “whatever” it takes to stop you drowning in what I call a “true sadness;” loss of some special place within yourself. Your need for approval may have led you there, an abusive relationship grabbed you by the throat & threatened you to STAY… ‘Just a little longer’ & false promises whispered ‘All will change soon, stay…’ & you did & change didn’t happen. Or, Loss, a significant one may have occurred & there was no time for YOU to grieve because you were too busy being the strong one. Rock bottom wrote your name down & waited patiently for you to check in.
You don’t just sort through everything quickly at rock bottom & then pick yourself up & off you go galloping along life’s highway. There is no energy, not at first & not until you listen to those tears that want to cry & you ACTUALLY let THEM! Fear will rush over you like huge gargantuan waves & you’ll wanna stay in bed with the blankets over your head, for a while anyway. But then, something starts to slowly take place, you wake up one morning & a little bit of strength is felt, just a little but it’s a different strength & it’s a stable strength & you know that you can trust it. It’s what I call “the climb.” You see you climb out of rock bottom, each bar you grab & hold with your new “different” strength exercises the new found trust & confidence gained by spending time & rock bottom, grieving, sorting & finally accepting & after you do that, you start “the climb.”
You never climb out as you fell in. You are not denying yourself your right to be heard anymore & if you are attentive to you, you won’t again. If you’re there now, remember, it’s not a permanent place, there is so much hope at rock bottom, you just can’t see it now as you haven’t entered ” The Big Sort!” but, you’ll get there, you’re on your way. We usually all spend a little time at Rock Bottom Lodge & we learn so much about ourselves while there. How to never ever allow anyone, especially ourselves, to shove what we value under a dirty carpet.
You matter. That’s the beautiful goodbye message rock bottom leaves you with, just as you’re about to finish “the climb.”