What do you mean there’s nothing to FEAR? Who in their right mind wants to go there?!!! Well, usually, in time, we all end up there for hopefully a short stay, did I write short? No, it’s never short, quite lengthy & you never climb out as you fell in.
It’s a place where you shut down, life has opened up all those painful tabs in one go & all those feelings that were denied a “hearing,” protest! because they are so tired & worn out & you collapse under the weight of all those tears that just wanna cry! You can’t fight it anymore! life is asking for some “catch up” time & when you deny it, it will demand it & then, just take it = Welcome to ROCK BOTTOM.
Are you there now? Are you heading there? I’ll try to take the fear out of the place for you. Rock bottom is a “core” experience, there’s nothing fake or phoney about spending time there, it’s a place you grieve over whats been lost IN YOU. You’ve been filling that hollow space with “whatever” it takes to stop you drowning in what I call a “true sadness;” loss of some special place within yourself. Your need for approval may have led you there, an abusive relationship grabbed you by the throat & threatened you to STAY… ‘Just a little longer’ & false promises whispered ‘All will change soon, stay…’ & you did & change didn’t happen. Or, Loss, a significant one may have occurred & there was no time for YOU to grieve because you were too busy being the strong one. Rock bottom wrote your name down & waited patiently for you to check in.
You don’t just sort through everything quickly at rock bottom & then pick yourself up & off you go galloping along life’s highway. There is no energy, not at first & not until you listen to those tears that want to cry & you ACTUALLY let THEM! Fear will rush over you like huge gargantuan waves & you’ll wanna stay in bed with the blankets over your head, for a while anyway. But then, something starts to slowly take place, you wake up one morning & a little bit of strength is felt, just a little but it’s a different strength & it’s a stable strength & you know that you can trust it. It’s what I call “the climb.” You see you climb out of rock bottom, each bar you grab & hold with your new “different” strength exercises the new found trust & confidence gained by spending time & rock bottom, grieving, sorting & finally accepting & after you do that, you start “the climb.”
You never climb out as you fell in. You are not denying yourself your right to be heard anymore & if you are attentive to you, you won’t again. If you’re there now, remember, it’s not a permanent place, there is so much hope at rock bottom, you just can’t see it now as you haven’t entered ” The Big Sort!” but, you’ll get there, you’re on your way. We usually all spend a little time at Rock Bottom Lodge & we learn so much about ourselves while there. How to never ever allow anyone, especially ourselves, to shove what we value under a dirty carpet.
You matter. That’s the beautiful goodbye message rock bottom leaves you with, just as you’re about to finish “the climb.”
Without change, you don’t grow. Without change, you don’t know…know anything new about yourself, change ruffles up the inner feathers & you get to see yourself react & respond, it might be negatively or positively & the result from either reaction, will be a move forward or a step back.
Change is for our good. It might seem unwelcome at times & certainly unwanted but there is a lesson in the shift & you grow, growth is all part of the life experience & really, how safe are we if we choose stagnation instead of taking another turn & finding out more about ourselves & what life has to offer in another place or meeting new people who will no doubt bring a much-needed freshness into a space that has grown a little stale.
My life has been one of constant change. I shudder to think of what my life would have been like if I had stayed all my life in one place. I love the fact that yesterday, on a whim, off we went to visit a castle & then just drive through the countryside breathing in its freshness, scents & sights so intoxicating to the soul. It was a spur of the moment thing, a “Let’s do it!” Life breathes well when spontaneity is a regular dose in your life.
Change is always a bonus if it makes you simplify your life & free it up for more of what truly makes rich &, I’m not talking about money, it’s not things but experiences with those you love that bring an abundance of woohoo moments!
Change means you’re not standing still but moving forward in some way. So, don’t be scared when change comes a-knockin’, open that door & grow.
It doesn’t matter what age you are, true beauty is a soul & heart thing! The soul is ageless. It’s where you will find your fountain of youth. & when you do things YOU enjoy & ditch things you’re only doing to make others happy, you will start to feel that oh, so feel-good state of well-being.
The first thing you will notice is that you will start to smile again! An honest to goodness smile that comes up all the way from your soul to your face & hey! doesn’t joy look beautiful on a woman?! Yup! It sure does x
One thing I’m thinking of doing that is totally new to me, is to join the local kayaking club. My neighbour, in her late sixties, asked me a few weeks ago if I’d like to come along to the club! As I’m doing an arm work-out at the moment, I thought, now there’s just the thing to keep my arms nice & taut! I’ll give it a try & if I enjoy doing it, bonus! then I’ll keep on kayaking!I like the fact, too, that kayaking will be a new challenge for me & thus, I’ll be stepping out of my comfort zone &, that’s always a good thing!
What goals, new interests are you going to take up? I’ve come up with some ideas I like & some I won’t pursue but maybe you will!
- Join a book club. Or, better yet, create your own book club meet-up. You’ll make new gal pals of all ages &, sharing an in-depth discussion about a book you’ve all read will increase your appreciation about the way other people think as you probe deep into the story plot, much like mining for gems!
- Do you like to paint or draw? or write poetry? Join a class or create one. Put an ad in the local paper inviting other people for tea & cake or a glass of red, once a month, while you all paint, write or draw, together. It doesn’t have to be a solitary thing but it can be, it’s up to YOU x
- Grab the sax, pull out the old guitar, take up the flute or maybe the harp? So many of you are musical, if its been a long time, go play!
- Hiking is great, so good for your health & emotional well-being, too! Prepare a little backpack picnic & don’t forget the wine!
- Dance! Just put the music on that makes your feet tap & grab your man or a group of friends & rock & roll!
- Like to sing? Be brave & go street perform!
- Start a prayer group. Pray for each other & think of ways you can help others.
- Gather. Gather. GATHER together, you & your tribe. Prepare a meal together & share your hearts.
Or, you can fall in love & have regular date nights x
Remember…focus on something YOU enjoy doing! Invite like-minded ones along, too, if you like!
When you wear that heady scent of satisfaction & find fulfilment in what you like & enjoy doing, you’ll have stirred the waters in that fountain of youth which is found in your soul.
Go do interesting things & then ‘nourish your flourish!’